Day 232 ] 3/25/06
I got an e-mail today from a guy named Josh. He got busted for possession 3 months ago and is facing trail in a month. He says: "down with the dope because if it don't kill you it can still take your life away". He could face jail time.
Also, today, I am writing a letter to a judge for another friend facing trail for possession of crystal meth.
March 25th marks eight months since I began this redirection of my life. The hype of the public act has long worn off, and it is up to me to make day to day decisions. I must say I am less compulsive, and face some motivation problems. Of course, I am working full-time and in school, constantly reading books and writing papers, so it's not that I am just lazy... but the immediacy of making a public spectacle of myself to combat crystal meth addiction has subsided. Imagine that, I'm not on speed any more!
I realized a few months ago, that in addition to the sexual addiction leading up to my crystal meth use, I had been taking caffiene pills for energy and to maintain a fit appearance. I started taking one or two pills a day in August 2004, and continued through spring 2005. I was constantly overhyped and overheated. Today I try to drink mostly water at work, but do depend on coffee, redbull or moutain dew for afternoon pick-me ups.
This week is supposed to be spring break from school, so I have not done homework for a few nights and will do the minimum this weekend, though it will still be waiting for me next week.
On Saint Patrick's day, I drank a beer with three classmates after a day of classes. On the following Monday, I drank a splash of champagne with co-workers to celebrate successful completion of a project. While I feel good about these decisions, some may feel that this could be the beginning of a slip back to drug use. For this reason I am being honest, so as to not be deceiving in this public venue. I hope to live the definition of sober, rather than set myself up for a binge due to repression. I welcome your thoughts on this subject.
So that's me. How are you?
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