Mental, Physical, Emotional Health
I don't usually read the Health section.
Over the past two and a half months, as I have been working on my MBA in Sustainable Management, I have written a number of papers answering the question "What do I care about?" My answer has been repeatedly, "I care about methamphetamine addiction." I didn't really care about it until I started feeling it's pull in May and June. By July, I knew that I had to pick partying on crystal, or everything else. I care about people like me, who have so much to give to others, but get trapped by this stuff. We are good people.
Tuesday night after facing the reality of "coming out of the closet about meth" all day at work, I gave my students a lecture about the power of design. As the front page of my website says, "Design is problem solving. Design is improvement, Design is strategy... Design is a tool for the betterment of human life and the expression of creativity." This definition of design has been my guide since I wrote it in 2002. If methamphetamine addiction is a problem, how do we design a solution? How do we better human lives through design?
My strategy has been to throw it out in the open. To talk about it without shame. To celebrate life without it, publically.
To drink, or not to drink.
For those of you just joining us, on August 7th, I made a commitment to myself to not drink alcohol for ninety days (and not use crystal meth, of course). This past weekend marked the completion of that 90 day trial period.
I have been obsessing for a month about what decision to make, whether I could ease up on my no-alcohol policy. By Monday night, I had made my decision: No more than two drinks of wine or beer in a 24 hour period; no drinking in bars or clubs; and only when I am with family, safe friends, or coworkers.
This sounded like a reasonable compromise for a life without drugs... normal people drink. I am normal.
Secret Get-togethers.
Several nights a week I disappear for a few hours for get-togethers with people who's names I can't mention. There we talk about things I can't repeat. If I'm asked if I go to these get-togethers, I am supposed to dodge the question or deny it. These people, who do not exist, have been the single greatest inspiration to me over the past three months. I would not be clean if I had not not found this thing that I can't tell you about.
It is understood, that by my participation in this mystery group, I cannot drink alcohol or use drugs. To do so would violate the secret code that you can only learn if you happen to find where this get-together takes place.
Until Tuesday morning, I was planning on rewriting the secret rules. Bending them to suit my desires. I can drink. Yes, I can. I can do anything I choose to do.
But then this goddamn article came out, plastering my face in recycling bins all over DC. It reminded me, that I have the power to inspire other people. It reminded me that participation in these secret groups are the only treatment I am receiving for crystal meth addiction. Sure, I can drink... but do I really need to? Is the benefit to myself and others greater if I do or if I don't?
I have been embarrassed at the prospect of showing up at my ten-year high school reunion in two weeks and not being able to drink... being the same boring geek that I was in high school.
Hey. You want boring geek... Look at this boring geek on the front page of (the health section of) one of the world's most respected newspapers. Look at this boring geek changing his life, and inspiring hundreds of others. I was not a boring geek on July 23rd and 24th. But I would be more embarrassed of a video of me that weekend than I ever could be by coming out about drug use in the Washington Post.
My Decision. My Commitment.
So. Here is my commitment. For 90 days, from November 9th until Valentines Day, February 14th, 2006, I will not drink alcohol, I will not use any form of illegal drugs or inhalents, and I will not have unprotected sex.
Clean, Sober, and Safe.
In these secret get-togethers we talk about a higher power. Today, my higher power is the Washington Post. These 750,000 bundled pieces of paper with my face on them have slapped a little sense into me, showing me that my decisions don't just affect me, and that I can suck it up and say no to alcohol for at least another 90 days.
Ok, you can go back to what you were doing, now.
Back