Significant Other ] September 2, 2005
Four years and one week ago I was running around RAGE, a dance club on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood. I had been dancing by myself, in the wild, youthful manner, which I can hardly recreate only four years later, when I turned and saw the soft face and spikey hair of a handsome, dark featured young man highlighted in the twirling blues and reds of the disco lights. He saw me too. In my typical "tryin-a-workin-it" strategy, I backed up across the dance floor, shakin my bootay, until my hind-cheeks accidently brushed up against his.
One week later, September 2, 2001, we were on our first date, which lasted from 7 am until 11:30 pm and included a very slow breakfast, a morning at the zoo, mediterranean lunch, a very innocent naptime, and a night at the Hollywood Bowl, watching Jason's Alma Mater, The University of Southern California Trojan Marching Band, perform the 1812 Overture with fireworks.
That day was just the beginning of what has been the most significant relationship of my life (parents excluded). Two days after my graduation from school in August 2002, we moved together into an apartment in Long Beach, California. Jason was teaching high school band, and I was looking for jobs. On a chilly night in October, my appendix burst as I was crawling into bed, which was followed by an emergency surgery, three days in the hospital and subsequent weeks of recovery, through which Jason was by my side, cleaning up my biological messes, stuffing my deep open incision with gauze, and helping me stand up, sit down, and roll over.
In January 2004, I decided to take a job in Washington D.C., as offers had been scarce following September 11th. I also needed to live on my own for the first time, pay my own bills, and make my own mistakes. Jason fully supported me in my big move, even though we did not know what would become of our relationship. Coordinating with my mom, Jason planned a truly surprising going away party, inviting family and friends. Together we drove across the country in my loaded and sagging Ford Taurus, making the trip in less than 40 hours.
Things did get rocky, as we were not able to share the same intimate companionship that we had grown accustomed to. We broke up in June of 2004, and after a short period of hurt feelings and blame, we have rebuilt our relationship into a truly caring, family-style friendship.
This summer, while I was using crystal meth, Jason was aware of my use and unsafe behavior. He expressed very clearly his intolerance, not so much with the drug, but with the unsafe sex part (which are hard to seperate). He threatened to pull out of my life if this was what I chose to continue doing... because he cares about me too much, but he can't control me.
I was annoyed by his antagonism and hypocrisy. My response to him was "I hear you."
On July 25th, Jason was one of the first to respond to my plea for a new direction. His message was purely "Bravo, Chad. Yours in Unconditional Love, Jason." He tentatively stood by me on 17th Street on July 28th, unsure of my sincerity for personal change and questioning my need to produce a public spectacle. Never-the-less he expressed to me his support and witnessed the impact of my raw performance.
Jason is back in Southern California, now, in a new teaching position, busy as usual inspiring high school students to be better musicians and better people, through his example.
I don't know what the future holds for us. I see Jason as my life partner and soul mate. He has taught me more about life and love than any other person I know.
On this, the fourth anniversary of our companionship, I can do nothing but point to Jason as my greatest source of inspiration, sanity, humor, and love.
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