Sea to Shining Sea ] 8/30/05

Brady and Me ] August 29, 2005 I am typing on the plane. Can't sleep. My heart is full, but I am exhausted. I spent the afternoon with Brady Ralston, who e-mailed me out of the blue less than two weeks ago. His personal documentary, Welcome To My Path, is in its final month of editting. In his first e-mail to me on August 17th, he concluded saying "I know our paths will cross". Twelve days later, we are standing on a hill, overlooking the city, sharing our experiences, and inspiring each other to keep on keepin on.

This is Living ] August 29, 2005 Every once in a while it hits me. The Pride of being brave. The Pride of opening my fucking mouth. The Pride of sharing my LIFE with other people. I am taking lots of photos. I enjoy the act of taking photos, I enjoy seeing the results. But standing on that cliff, facing the sun, true pride... PRIDE... it hits. Drifting in and out of sleep as the plane lifted off, I looked out the window for a moment, seeing the lights below, and was amazed at the marvel of flight. A fucking plane, weighing hundreds of thousands of pounds, up, off the ground... taking me to the other side of the country. I honestly thought of those 'brave pioneers' who came across the country in wagons, taking months or years to make a journey which now takes four and a half hours. And then there is the Golden Gate Bridge. A symbol, and a marvel of human accomplishment. And then there is me. A symbol, and a marvel of human accomplishment. There are thousands of airplane flights a day. There are thousands of bridges spanning massive bodies of water around the world. And there are thousands of me's. Brave men and women who decided to say "I'm going to do something big. I am going to live free of Crystal Methamphetamine."

Cool Photo Opps ] August 29, 2005 I had a blast with Brady. What a sweet, sweet, genuine guy. Meth turned me into a selfish asshole. Meth turned me into a zombie. It does that to all of us. For the user: You will find love out here. You will find people who love you and care about you out here. You will find intimacy out here. You will find connection and satisfaction and fulfillment out here. Not in that next bump, not in that next manhunt click, but as soon as you take the first step to say, "I want more, and meth can't give it to me." I am here for you and Brady is here for you.

From 17th to Castro ] August 29, 2005 Watch out Chelsea, Watch out South Beach, Watch out WeHo. "Let's Talk" is coming to a city near you. Why the somewhat suggestive pics? Because I am still a sexual creature. I'm not giving up sex, I'm not giving up fun, I'm not giving up being GAY in the fullest sense of the word. I am giving up poison. I am giving up mindless sex. I am giving up the depression and despair of addiction and constant fear. (Besides, I didn't take this picture, Brady did.) After Thai on Castro Street, I asked Brady if there were any good make-out spots in town. We went back up to the overlook where we had taken pictures earlier. We sat on a bench and held each other, talking about the joy of intimacy with other men founded in relationship, respect and caring. We saw a shooting star together arc over the city. I won't tell you our wish, but the wish granter will grant our wish. It's not a selfish wish. It is a wish for America. For effectiveness of our stories. My new friend took me to the airport. Tomorrow is another day. Work, taskforce meeting, rest. But don't hesitate to e-mail me. Good morning D.C. Back